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Dear BioForce Family,
I am humbled by the
responses I received in reply to my request for
input on our family’s conflict between baseball and
Easter. Many of you took time to give such
thoughtful and positive suggestions. I could feel
the emotion and caring behind so many of your ideas,
and I appreciate your willingness to be open and
share your comments with me.
What really touched
my heart was hearing through your words how much you
value your time with your children and that we all
struggle with balancing our values and commitments.
For the one guy who felt the need to rant about a
“bogus religious holiday” and worshipping a
“moon-cheese god” – I’m sorry but you missed the
point completely. This conversation was about
balancing what is important in our lives, whatever
that may be to each one of us.
As it is with so many
of our daily dilemmas, there is often not a right or
wrong answer. Just good people making the best
choices for the people they care about. This was not
an exercise in finding the “right answer.” Rather it
became a sharing of how we go about doing our best
to follow our commitments to our families, our
values, and the teams to which we choose to belong.
Whether it is sports or work, there are things that
take away from our time with our children. And some
of us with older children are really feeling the tug
of the future as our children grow up.
My appeal to you was
coming from my place as a mother who is watching her
son prepare to move out of our home. He hasn’t left
the nest yet, but his days with us are numbered
before he leaves for college and independence. I
find myself wanting to celebrate all the little
moments we have before he flies away.
I was surprised at
the discovery of our dilemma, and I admit that I let
myself become distracted by some previous struggles
we have experienced with coaches. When I stopped to
look at things from different perspectives, I was
able to be open to understanding where the coach was
coming from.
When I asked the
coach about the timing of the trip, he explained
that there were no options that would avoid the
Easter conflict. (OK, I didn’t want to argue that
one.) When he added that his wife wasn’t too happy
about it either, suddenly I was able to see
something I hadn’t seen before. I felt like the
Grinch who Stole Christmas when “his heart grew
three sizes that day.” This coach was asking his
family (his wife and three young daughters) to make
a sacrifice as well. His family is not going to have
the Easter celebration of their choosing so that the
coach can take my son and the rest of the team to
Arizona for spring break. If I choose to look at it
that way, I can see the generous gift my son is
receiving from a coach who cares enough to take time
away from his family for the sake of the team.
To top it off, he
offered to provide transportation for any player who
would like to attend church service on Easter. Now,
that sounds like a solution that takes care of what
we both care about. Although we each don’t get to
enjoy our traditional family Easter celebrations, we
will still be able to honor the importance of the
day. And as so many of you recommended, this may
turn out to be a growing experience for my son that
could have a positive influence on him and others
around him.
Our solution is that
my son will be traveling to Arizona with his team
because this is a very special time in his life and
this experience is important to him. As with other
challenges in my life, I can choose to focus on the
good stuff. I will miss my son while he is not with
us this Easter, but I will enjoy celebrating the day
with my daughters and husband while my son enjoys
time with his team using the gifts God has given him
to be the best teammate and baseball player he can
be.
Thank you again to
all of you who have shared your thoughts and
suggestion with me. Your input is a gift to others,
and we are all better for the opportunity to
understand your perspective. You make BioForce the
rich, diverse, and caring family that we hope to be.
Your SportsMom, Laura
PS If you would like
to read some of the responses to our Easter dilemma,
visit my new blog at
www.dearsportsmom.com. I hope you will find
yourself as enlightened as I have been.
Copy and paste this
link into your web browser
http://www.dearsportsmom.com.
PPS Seek first to
understand, then to be understood.
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